I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
