do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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