Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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