More tranny stories later!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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