What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
