Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
