If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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