Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know š
You kept saying ākekeā over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case youāre wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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