i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
