# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
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All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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