ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
