Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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