my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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