my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
