I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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