Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
