Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
