bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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