yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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