new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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