Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
