you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
