at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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