Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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