Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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