Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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