if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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