Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
