talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
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I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.