At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
