yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All the doctor said was why
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
