found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
