using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
