Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
