Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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