I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
