I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
