So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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