I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize