oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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