No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
