I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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