1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I want to make a zoo with you.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
