i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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