three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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