i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
