do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
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