just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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