Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
