The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is Oprah even human
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
