Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
