her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
