i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize