wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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