He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
