Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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