This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He uses pillows to masturbate.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
