Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
