Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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