Define "chronic" masturbator.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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