Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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