where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize