i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
