is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
