farters have to be the big spoon...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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